Some of my first memories are of you comforting me in the middle of the night. You know, in that little house in Beaver Creek, Ohio? The Irish Twin was an infant and roommate; I used to wake up scared if he cried. I remember birthday parties in that house with my BFF Mo - paper cups filled with candy. The Big Bro and Older Bro bringing me all of my presents and helping to open them when I couldn't quite rip into them fast enough. Grilled cheese sandwiches take me back to that house in a heartbeat.
With six kids and a husband who couldn't talk about his job you kept it together. You were the protector, provider and keeper of the flame. You gathered the Irish Twin and me in your arms run to the older boys school when a plane crashed into it to make sure they were okay and after they were? Grilled cheese all around. Five kids with the mumps at the same time and a husband in a country most people hadn't heard of. A son in the hospital with a bone disease I still can't spell while we were in a new city and state. A pregnant you splinting my shattered arm while Dad practically threw up in front of us. I look back at things I took for granted and am now only able to appreciate your gentle touch and calm under fire. Remember the tornado that destroyed a large part of the town we lived in? My memory is one of a fun adventure. You putting the three of us younger kids under Dad's workbench in the basement and telling us to pretend we were invisible, then finding the dog and bringing her down too.
With all of the moves, new houses, schools and friends you kept it fun. You would tell us we were lucky, we'd would always know someone in every major city in the country because we moved so much. Which is true to this day if you look at my Facebook page. When I was a surly teenager looking at a move that I was convinced would destroy my future you started a new tradition. To have a special day where we went out to a fancy and very expensive lunch - Nana in tow. Just us girls. I wish I appreciated it more at the time.
You always took a trip to meet up with your girlfriends. Friends from college and also a cousin or two thrown in since you all went to college together. I know you would've loved it if I continued that tradition of attending that college as did so many of those friends' daughters. Since it turned out that none of my cousins went to that school I feel I made the right choice for me. And thank you for supporting it. Now that I am much older and going on girls trips of my own I see them for what they meant to you - soul food. Time to nourish that spirit for the day to day living.
I feel for you that your only daughter was a Daddy's girl. It was an exclusive club at times and in looking back, I realize how hard that must have been for you. Of course, you had your own fan club inside the family which was stronger in numbers and much louder most of the time. But I also know that you were the one who got the call over my first broken heart, my first real job and for girlfriend advice. Remember when we won the Sports Trivia night much to the shock of all of the men in the sports bar we were in? Best story ever. During the most difficult of times you and I were the ones who met with the doctors about Dad's diagnosis and then sat with him when he got it. You and I were the ones who had those meaningful conversations with him that we hated to have as his life's story came to that final chapter. That was when I learned about your grace and hoped that I picked that quality up from you.
I know my family didn't come in the form you originally thought it would but I love how you embraced the Bonuses and adapted your expectations to this blended family and its needs. Hearing the littlest Bonuses call you Nana makes my heart sing. It makes me happy that you adore the SO although there are times I feel a little excluded from your mutual admiration society. Even The Black Dog and The Brown Dog adore you, although The Black Dog a little more so.
As I've faced Can-Sa in the last few months, I didn't have to look any further than you to see how to handle this fight. How to be positive and embrace this journey - grow from the experience and when the time is right? Put it to good use to help someone else. This chapter reminded me that you are still my Mom - here to make sure I take my medicines on time, get me a fresh glass of water and get my much needed sleep. Making me grilled cheese sandwiches as part of the recuperation. You've made the road ahead, although different from your Cancer journey - less scary. And I need that.
Mom, you've given the six of us a bounty of many gifts. We don't tell you that enough. I see them in my life every day. The importance of a good sense of humor at all times. Curiousity about the world we live in and a calling to get involved; make it a better place. A sense of grace and peace in the face of adversity. The ability to focus on the big picture and only plan for the best outcome. In our worlds, the glass is always half full. Your strength is something we all aspire to. Our lives are about a past, present and future that are all tied together through traditions and story telling. I see these things in the Bonuses and with the littlest ones too just by calling you Nana. I am so grateful to call you my Mom on this Mother's Day and proud to be your daughter too.
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