So today one of the leading articles on MSN is titled "Your Dog is Taking Advantage of You." Really. Shocking. Appalling. A group conducted a study and found that dogs possess a "Theory of Mind" or, in layman's terms - the ability to attribute mental states to oneself and others.
Hello. You could've spent a weekend at my house for far less money and confirmed that. We have a dog that has hidden opposable thumbs, a dog that can read and count, another dog that is passive aggressive and actually pouts. If you want evidence just look at the Bad Dog pictures on my Facebook page. How else do you think the spaghetti jar got opened while we were out? Or what about the Black Dog who whines in the middle of the night to get the Brown Dog off his dog bed so she can lay there? It is like a tanning salon, she can't lay in an already used dog bed (of her own I might add...) Or our Brown Dog who thinks he is invisible and not the 90 pounder that he is when he gets out of our yard and nonchalantly walks by us with his head facing away from us. Like we wouldn't see him. Seriously, he doesn't exactly blend in with the trees or neighbor's house.
We don't have children at home, I am the lucky bonus (I'd like to think) to my husband's four grown children who are on their own. They think we are nuts when it comes to these dogs. You see, they - the dogs not the kids - only eat special dog food, stay at a kennel/dude ranch/spa and need only to look at us and either bark or whine and their needs are met. Come to think of it, we should probably up our game for the kids at Christmas and birthdays.
Sometimes I think my significant other - aka the SO - is missing having kids at home. You see, he actually tucks the Black One into her bed at night. Don't even get me started on the Brown One and what goes on between the SO and his Buddy. Or as he says it "Buuu.....ddddyyy." This is where the dogs can perform the Vulcan Mind Meld and read our moods. They know how to play us. Tails up and wagging; they are hopeful and thinking we are in good moods, ready to accommodate their every need. Tails down, heads down and ears sticking out in a strangely Yoda like manner has them working our guilty consciences. Walk in the pouring rain? Sure. Need your dog bed's comforter (yes they have them) cleaned? Sure. American Cheese Slice? Absolutely. And then there is the crazy whirling dervish and bucking that goes one when it is time for a walk or to play outside. In their minds. Not ours. If these dogs were human they could sell birth control to a nun. (Sorry to some of my Catholic friends - you know who you are.)
So, the next time you want to do a study on dogs and if they are taking advantage of us or not just come to our house. It'll be cheap and easy. Just a few free meals, clean sheets and some play in the backyard. Oh, and we humans would be happy with a nice bottle of wine.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Happy life, happy wife...
I woke up this morning to birds chirping, bright blue skies, a gentle breeze flowing through the aspen grove by our house. The dogs were snoring and dreaming. The Brown One was chasing the same thing he has been chasing for months now, open mouth, legs twitching. The Black One was definitely dreaming about food. (She is all about the food.) It was like the beginning of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs minus the Disney music. I am a lucky person because I actually wake up in a good mood. Even when I have tons on my mind and a huge to-do list.
Now the dogs are always in a good mood. My husband swears they are all about the short term memory. Here is his perspective on their routine. "Wow, it's morning. I heard about this." "Hey, they are going to give us food. How lucky are we?" "Check out the grass in the yard, it is so special, I found a new @#$ spot." They are always happy to see us and thrilled with any little bit of attention, food, walk. You name it.
Mike aka the SO (significant other) prefers to start his day in a completely different manner. He grumbles about the things he is tripping over on his way to make coffee. He doesn't really speak until something on Fox News has gotten his attention and needs some sort of response in agreement. Full sentences are saved for really outrageous political behaviour. Luckily for me I am not expected to participate in this or respond.
So what has me thinking about this is all of the news about Chelsea Clinton's wedding. The tally of dollars being spent, flowers being purchased and a gluten free vegan cake. I remember going through all of that and being so excited about our guests, the reception, the food (a real cake I might add) and the whole weekend of events we planned. My oldest brother stood in for my father and walked me down the aisle; my other brothers all took on jobs that Dad would've had and that was so special. Of course I remember all of those things and seeing the same flowers and the venue or hearing the music always takes me back to that special day. I'd like to think they take Mike there too (except for the flowers probably.)
But the thing about weddings is that this is really about a marriage and life. Not flowers or food or music. What I have learned and am continuing to learn is that while a wedding day is so special and makes for amazing memories it doesn't compare to the day to day life. As a friend of mine said years ago, it isn't all sunsets and champagne. And you know, she was right. It's someone setting out a cup of coffee for you in the morning just exactly how you like it. Or someone DVRing a certain reality series for you so you can watch it while he is out of town. It is the SO figuring out that I like to start my day on a good note so he changes from Fox News when I join him and my staying in bed, faking sleep so he can get in his Fox fix before I get up.
Now the dogs are always in a good mood. My husband swears they are all about the short term memory. Here is his perspective on their routine. "Wow, it's morning. I heard about this." "Hey, they are going to give us food. How lucky are we?" "Check out the grass in the yard, it is so special, I found a new @#$ spot." They are always happy to see us and thrilled with any little bit of attention, food, walk. You name it.
Mike aka the SO (significant other) prefers to start his day in a completely different manner. He grumbles about the things he is tripping over on his way to make coffee. He doesn't really speak until something on Fox News has gotten his attention and needs some sort of response in agreement. Full sentences are saved for really outrageous political behaviour. Luckily for me I am not expected to participate in this or respond.
So what has me thinking about this is all of the news about Chelsea Clinton's wedding. The tally of dollars being spent, flowers being purchased and a gluten free vegan cake. I remember going through all of that and being so excited about our guests, the reception, the food (a real cake I might add) and the whole weekend of events we planned. My oldest brother stood in for my father and walked me down the aisle; my other brothers all took on jobs that Dad would've had and that was so special. Of course I remember all of those things and seeing the same flowers and the venue or hearing the music always takes me back to that special day. I'd like to think they take Mike there too (except for the flowers probably.)
But the thing about weddings is that this is really about a marriage and life. Not flowers or food or music. What I have learned and am continuing to learn is that while a wedding day is so special and makes for amazing memories it doesn't compare to the day to day life. As a friend of mine said years ago, it isn't all sunsets and champagne. And you know, she was right. It's someone setting out a cup of coffee for you in the morning just exactly how you like it. Or someone DVRing a certain reality series for you so you can watch it while he is out of town. It is the SO figuring out that I like to start my day on a good note so he changes from Fox News when I join him and my staying in bed, faking sleep so he can get in his Fox fix before I get up.
It is our laughter at things that might not make sense to someone else. Housework, yardwork and work work. Shared interests and in some cases, interests that aren't shared (hello golf.) This is what makes for a lifetime of love and commitment; at least in my opinion. All of that, and the occasional sunset, bouquet of flowers and a nice pot of coffee. Those are the things I always wish for newlyweds as these are the things that make this a happy life and me - a happy wife...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Facebook Posts, Fence Posts, Rail Posts and Touchstones...
So I have to confess. I love Facebook. I know it isn't popular to admit but there it is. I am on and off of it pretty quickly; a couple of times a day and definitely more at night if my husband is traveling (which he usually is) and I am just hanging out. It has been so great to reconnect with old friends and see the mix of friends who comment on my posts.
Now many of these people don't know each other but may have heard stories about each other. Edith, D and E know all so I love getting phone calls from them after they sees a name they recognize. Like this one. "Hey Anne, I just saw xxxa is a new friend of yours. Is she the one that you tried to smoke cigarettes with in 7th grade and threw up on?" Well ELR, yes she is. She now lives in the Midwest and still loves Led Zepplin. Or the call of "I saw so and so post about your family and sleepovers you had in third grade and laughed so hard thinking about the story you told us in college about your group of friends trying to contact Abraham Lincoln" (we were a strange but fun group of girls in elementary school).
These are the friends that I long ago dreamt about life with, shared laughs with about simple things and we talked talked talked. We talked about what a first love or great love would be, where we would live or visit as we grew up and if we would marry or not. Even their siblings are a huge part of our stories. How else would we have learned terrifying things about what happens as you mature; how to properly tp another block in our neighborhoods or make the perfect ice/snowball. Older brothers breaking up seances and prom dates, or in some cases - becoming the prom dates. Older sisters either ratting us out or sharing information with us so we weren't surprised by anything. Conversations of what if, should I or would we. Most of us moved around a lot as a result of our parents' occupations and lost touch in the process. These friends provided the stability and helped shape my values, humor and sensitivity. These are my Fence Posts.
Then there were the college and post college friends. I think of them as the Rail Posts. They connected my younger self to my older self. They were, and now are, a key part of the continuum of it all. See they were around for the I did whats? I should have or we wouldn't have. They have the stories that could keep anyone of us from running for elective office. And rumor has there are pictures too but I am not buying it. We reconnected through Facebook and learn about each other's current lives. You see, they know the younger version and not the snapshot of my current life.
And finally the Touchstones. (You know who you are.) Facebook for us is a reason to call and laugh or provide quick needed updates or news, some good and some sad. You ladies know all of the old stories and now we continue the dialogue. We keep each other grounded. Time tested friendships that reset reality when necessary. You laugh me out of a bad day or listen when I need an ear; you tell me what I need to hear as opposed to what I want to hear. We have dressed each other for weddings, helped heal broken hearts, had girls' trips and held each other as we buried parents or siblings. I'll never forget a certain trip to Nordstrom before a funeral and D deciding that was the day to introduce us to Hanky Pankys for comfort. Collectively we are Gail and Oprah combined with Ethel and Lucy. But that is a whole other Facebook Post..
Through Facebook I have connected with the most important people in my life outside of family. You put the fenceposts in, connect them with railposts and move on to the next section. You don't forget them, you just move on. Sometimes you have to check them and sometimes you never really see them again. Facebook Posts, Fence Posts, Rail Posts and Touchstones...
Now many of these people don't know each other but may have heard stories about each other. Edith, D and E know all so I love getting phone calls from them after they sees a name they recognize. Like this one. "Hey Anne, I just saw xxxa is a new friend of yours. Is she the one that you tried to smoke cigarettes with in 7th grade and threw up on?" Well ELR, yes she is. She now lives in the Midwest and still loves Led Zepplin. Or the call of "I saw so and so post about your family and sleepovers you had in third grade and laughed so hard thinking about the story you told us in college about your group of friends trying to contact Abraham Lincoln" (we were a strange but fun group of girls in elementary school).
These are the friends that I long ago dreamt about life with, shared laughs with about simple things and we talked talked talked. We talked about what a first love or great love would be, where we would live or visit as we grew up and if we would marry or not. Even their siblings are a huge part of our stories. How else would we have learned terrifying things about what happens as you mature; how to properly tp another block in our neighborhoods or make the perfect ice/snowball. Older brothers breaking up seances and prom dates, or in some cases - becoming the prom dates. Older sisters either ratting us out or sharing information with us so we weren't surprised by anything. Conversations of what if, should I or would we. Most of us moved around a lot as a result of our parents' occupations and lost touch in the process. These friends provided the stability and helped shape my values, humor and sensitivity. These are my Fence Posts.
Then there were the college and post college friends. I think of them as the Rail Posts. They connected my younger self to my older self. They were, and now are, a key part of the continuum of it all. See they were around for the I did whats? I should have or we wouldn't have. They have the stories that could keep anyone of us from running for elective office. And rumor has there are pictures too but I am not buying it. We reconnected through Facebook and learn about each other's current lives. You see, they know the younger version and not the snapshot of my current life.
And finally the Touchstones. (You know who you are.) Facebook for us is a reason to call and laugh or provide quick needed updates or news, some good and some sad. You ladies know all of the old stories and now we continue the dialogue. We keep each other grounded. Time tested friendships that reset reality when necessary. You laugh me out of a bad day or listen when I need an ear; you tell me what I need to hear as opposed to what I want to hear. We have dressed each other for weddings, helped heal broken hearts, had girls' trips and held each other as we buried parents or siblings. I'll never forget a certain trip to Nordstrom before a funeral and D deciding that was the day to introduce us to Hanky Pankys for comfort. Collectively we are Gail and Oprah combined with Ethel and Lucy. But that is a whole other Facebook Post..
Through Facebook I have connected with the most important people in my life outside of family. You put the fenceposts in, connect them with railposts and move on to the next section. You don't forget them, you just move on. Sometimes you have to check them and sometimes you never really see them again. Facebook Posts, Fence Posts, Rail Posts and Touchstones...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Out of the mouths of babes, or in my case - my 40 year old baby brother...
After many years of working in the corporate world, doing all of the right things and doing what I thought I wanted to do it took a simple comment from my youngest brother to start me down an unexpected path that I still haven't mapped out. And he thinks I don't take him seriously.
I had the power suit, the business cards, the frequent flier miles and business network that told me I was successful. Heck, even the people at Delta's Crown Rooms recognized me in four airports. Certain flight crews were known to me as I was to them. In meetings with potential clients and various banks people worked their schedules around me. According to everyone I was very successful and happy, married to a great guy (thank god for him) who also had a thriving career. It was everything I dreamt of, even as I was being "socially successful" in college. I never doubted I would do well.
So, back to that dinner. We were eating at a well known steakhouse in Denver; my treat since they made the time and were newly married. We were talking about my job, their jobs and the fact that my husband and I only saw each other on weekends which were crammed with social activities and skiing with out of town guests. I commented that we spent more time together when we were dating. With all of the wisdom of a newlywed my brother pointed out that we have to make the time for each other, prioritize, find common interests. Such sage advice offered from someone who had been married for 90 days... But then he hit me with the arrow and didn't even realize it; "...I always thought you'd be a writer... I never figured out how you ended up where you are..." Out of the mouths of babes as they say.
Keeping in mind we grew up in a family of six, five brothers and one sister. Oh, that would be me. Not exactly the princess one would think. We were raised Catholic with an emphasis on our Irish roots. So yes, we were (and are) competitive, outspoken and still maintain a sense of humor that many people don't quite get. Our father was an officer in the military and while we moved frequently it wasn't as much as most families. We never lived on base because we were told that base housing couldn't accommodate a family our size. What a bummer for us since all we knew about base housing was occasional free rides from the MPs (don't tell) to the Officers Club for pooltime and free ice cream. Aah the optimism of kids, so far removed from reality. As adults we figured out that Mom just wanted a little slice of her own life, especially since Dad was gone so much. But I digress; the point is my youngest brother still thinks we all treat him like he is seven to this day and many days he is probably right.
So this blog is part of my journey. Not to rediscover myself like so many. I am who I am. But it is part of the continuum of my life that started so long ago with my love of books and the written word.
I had the power suit, the business cards, the frequent flier miles and business network that told me I was successful. Heck, even the people at Delta's Crown Rooms recognized me in four airports. Certain flight crews were known to me as I was to them. In meetings with potential clients and various banks people worked their schedules around me. According to everyone I was very successful and happy, married to a great guy (thank god for him) who also had a thriving career. It was everything I dreamt of, even as I was being "socially successful" in college. I never doubted I would do well.
So, back to that dinner. We were eating at a well known steakhouse in Denver; my treat since they made the time and were newly married. We were talking about my job, their jobs and the fact that my husband and I only saw each other on weekends which were crammed with social activities and skiing with out of town guests. I commented that we spent more time together when we were dating. With all of the wisdom of a newlywed my brother pointed out that we have to make the time for each other, prioritize, find common interests. Such sage advice offered from someone who had been married for 90 days... But then he hit me with the arrow and didn't even realize it; "...I always thought you'd be a writer... I never figured out how you ended up where you are..." Out of the mouths of babes as they say.
Keeping in mind we grew up in a family of six, five brothers and one sister. Oh, that would be me. Not exactly the princess one would think. We were raised Catholic with an emphasis on our Irish roots. So yes, we were (and are) competitive, outspoken and still maintain a sense of humor that many people don't quite get. Our father was an officer in the military and while we moved frequently it wasn't as much as most families. We never lived on base because we were told that base housing couldn't accommodate a family our size. What a bummer for us since all we knew about base housing was occasional free rides from the MPs (don't tell) to the Officers Club for pooltime and free ice cream. Aah the optimism of kids, so far removed from reality. As adults we figured out that Mom just wanted a little slice of her own life, especially since Dad was gone so much. But I digress; the point is my youngest brother still thinks we all treat him like he is seven to this day and many days he is probably right.
So this blog is part of my journey. Not to rediscover myself like so many. I am who I am. But it is part of the continuum of my life that started so long ago with my love of books and the written word.
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