Star Light, Star Bright...

The other night I did the unthinkable in my house. I actually got up in the middle of the night to let The Brown Dog out. The Brown Dog is getting older and like the other man in the house - needs a trip to the restroom during the night.

This usually brings on a battle of wills between the Significant Other and me. Unspoken of course unless the S.O. is really irritated. The word is out; I am not the heavy sleeper that the S.O. thinks I am. You see, as soon as I detect the Brown Head resting gently on my side of the bed I let out a little heavy breath or gentle snore. I can't figure out how the Brown Eyes staring at me make so much noise, they are the loudest thing ever and yes, they wake me up. But I feign deep sleep. Then The Brown Dog sort of rubs against my side of the bed. So I roll over and throw in another snore. The Brown Dog tries a few more things while I sort of flail out my arms and throw it into high gear; faking that I am in the deepest of sleeps. That is when The Black Dog gets in on the action. She simply goes to the S.O.'s side of the bed and barks at him. At that point he gets up and once he is on his feet I mumble - "I'll get it". He barks "I am UP!" at me and lets them out. It's all what make my life a charmed life right?

We used to have two cats who were part of the package when we married. In the S.O.'s earlier life his daughters were concerned that he would be lonely as a single guy. Obviously they hadn't watched Oprah's stories about divorced successful men and their eligibility. They talked him into getting a cat. Actually, the single cute woman at a pet adoption event talked him into allowing two cats to adopt him. So the cats won, she won and he lost. Though ultimately this made him the winner because of me. But that is a whole other blog. At any rate, the cats became my co-conspirators in this faking sleep thing.

One or the other of them would sleep on my feet or at my side. They would get on the bed during the night and snuggle in. The real reason they did this was so they could rule the dogs. So when The Brown Dog would start his "I need to go out routine" the cat of the evening would take a swipe at him; thus accelerating The Black Dog's barking and waking up the S.O. In the interest of full disclosure I have to admit, I still "slept" through this. In those instances the S.O.'s response when I would mumble that I'd get up was always "I am UP and how can you sleep through this?" Some nights I would tell him I heard barking and thought I was dreaming. Some mornings I'd say "I dreamt I was volunteering at a shelter last night, did I kick much in my sleep?" ...After posting this you'll find me in the confessional at St. Mary's...

Well, here we are a few years later and catless. The White Cat (most recently) and The Black Cat are at the Great Cattery in the Sky. Now I've lost my partners in crime and feline force field. It's all back on me again. Plus the dogs are older and more insistent about the night-time backyard visits. So the other night when The Brown Dog started his routine I thought "I can do this. Let the S.O. sleep and I'll be the good wife and let the beast out."

I got up, The Black Dog eyed me warily and moved in case I tripped over her. I went to the backdoor and let The Brown One out. My mistake was that I looked up. What a gorgeous night! Who knew? The stars were so bright and intense it seemed like I could just touch them. And the Milky Way? It cut a beautiful path across the sky. I was awed and enthralled. I sat outside and took it all in. The Brown Dog sniffed around, did his thing and patrolled the yard. It was so peaceful and inspiring.

It started to get a little cold so the dog and I went inside. I immediately woke the S.O. up to see the Milky Way and he wasn't as awed or inspired as I was. In fact - he never went outside. He watched an old movie in our den after it became apparent he was wide awake. The dogs and I slept peacefully. I am pretty sure they were dreaming of the cats playing among the stars. The next morning I mentioned to the S.O. how much I enjoyed the nighttime sky and that I'd be happy to get up with the dogs from now on. His response? "I think I'll just let the dogs out at night. You need your sleep..."

And they say reverse psychology doesn't work...