It doesn't take a rocket scientist, or animal behavioralist...

So today one of the leading articles on MSN is titled "Your Dog is Taking Advantage of You." Really. Shocking. Appalling. A group conducted a study and found that dogs possess a "Theory of Mind" or, in layman's terms - the ability to attribute mental states to oneself and others.

Hello. You could've spent a weekend at my house for far less money and confirmed that. We have a dog that has hidden opposable thumbs, a dog that can read and count, another dog that is passive aggressive and actually pouts. If you want evidence just look at the Bad Dog pictures on my Facebook page. How else do you think the spaghetti jar got opened while we were out? Or what about the Black Dog who whines in the middle of the night to get the Brown Dog off his dog bed so she can lay there? It is like a tanning salon, she can't lay in an already used dog bed (of her own I might add...) Or our Brown Dog who thinks he is invisible and not the 90 pounder that he is when he gets out of our yard and nonchalantly walks by us with his head facing away from us. Like we wouldn't see him. Seriously, he doesn't exactly blend in with the trees or neighbor's house.

We don't have children at home, I am the lucky bonus (I'd like to think) to my husband's four grown children who are on their own. They think we are nuts when it comes to these dogs. You see, they - the dogs not the kids - only eat special dog food, stay at a kennel/dude ranch/spa and need only to look at us and either bark or whine and their needs are met. Come to think of it, we should probably up our game for the kids at Christmas and birthdays.

Sometimes I think my significant other - aka the SO - is missing having kids at home. You see, he actually tucks the Black One into her bed at night. Don't even get me started on the Brown One and what goes on between the SO and his Buddy. Or as he says it "Buuu.....ddddyyy." This is where the dogs can perform the Vulcan Mind Meld and read our moods. They know how to play us. Tails up and wagging; they are hopeful and thinking we are in good moods, ready to accommodate their every need. Tails down, heads down and ears sticking out in a strangely Yoda like manner has them working our guilty consciences. Walk in the pouring rain? Sure. Need your dog bed's comforter (yes they have them) cleaned? Sure. American Cheese Slice? Absolutely. And then there is the crazy whirling dervish and bucking that goes one when it is time for a walk or to play outside. In their minds. Not ours. If these dogs were human they could sell birth control to a nun. (Sorry to some of my Catholic friends - you know who you are.)

So, the next time you want to do a study on dogs and if they are taking advantage of us or not just come to our house. It'll be cheap and easy. Just a few free meals, clean sheets and some play in the backyard. Oh, and we humans would be happy with a nice bottle of wine.